Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
