He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
