So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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