Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i out mim tonsoeep
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
