You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize