The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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