Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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