I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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