He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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