Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
