I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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