he shaved USA in his pubs
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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