I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
