Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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