I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize