And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
