The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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