In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
