youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
