Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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