People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
