I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Randomize
