I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize