Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
