Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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