The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
A+ Viking dick
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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