So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
