i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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