If i come over, it means nothing
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
