Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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