Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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