this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
