2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
