just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize