Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
