So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
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