Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
