i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
