I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
