i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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