omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize