He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
