Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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