Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
