guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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