dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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