girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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