I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
