I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
