it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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