They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
