He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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