The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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