We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
