There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
