so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
