it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
