The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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