Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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