Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
