his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
