this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
