just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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