nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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