I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
