Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
