so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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